An Insight into What to Expect in Counselling

So, you’re thinking about starting counselling but have no idea what to expect. This is totally understandable. It can be an experience unlike many people have had before and the unknown can be a bit daunting. So here's a walk through what a typical counselling session is like…

First things first: the counselling setup

When you arrive for your session, you'll likely be greeted directly by your counsellor. Counselling spaces are usually designed to be welcoming and calming. Think comfy chairs, soft lighting, and maybe even a few plants or books. There are some pictures below of my space in Newton Abbot.

If you're online, you'll receive the link in advance and enter the virtual space when it's time. The goal is to make you feel relaxed and at ease. This is not a medical appointment!

The Beginning: breaking the ice

Your counsellor might start with some friendly small talk to help you settle in. They will likely ask if the room is set up well for you. Whether the light is too bright or you prefer sitting on the floor rather than a chair, do ask for what you need. I always take my shoes off, I'm just more comfortable that way.

If your session is online, there will be typical tech talk to ensure you understand how the software works. This includes what to do if you lose connection or if someone knocks at your door. It’s all about making you feel comfortable and ready to start.

Setting the Stage: confidentiality and counselling goals

During the first session, your counsellor will take time to explain what counselling involves. Some counsellors refer to this as 'contracting', which sounds a bit formal but it's really just to make sure that you're clear what to expect of this time.

You'll talk about confidentiality (read this blog post if you want to find out more) and any goals you might have in mind for your counselling. Some clients come ready to talk without a specific goal, and that’s perfectly okay. As conversations unfold, what you want from your sessions often becomes clearer. You’ll also have the chance to ask any questions about what will happen in the sessions.

Diving In: the conversation

Now comes the main part - the conversation. Your counsellor might begin with open-ended questions such as, “What brings you here today?” or “How have you been feeling lately?” There’s no right or wrong way to answer. If you feel able to, share whatever is on your mind.

The beauty of counselling is that it’s your space to talk about whatever you need. Whether you face overwhelming anxiety or are struggling with a family issue, everything you mention is valid.

And you might feel like you talk about lots of different things and it feels like a jumble. Your counsellor will let you know if they can't keep track and will also help you to find the thread through the stories, the insight that will help you.

The Flow: back and forth

Counselling is a two-way street. As you share your thoughts and feelings, your counsellor will listen, ask questions, and share any patterns in your words. They might highlight certain behaviors or past experiences that seem to be tripping you up, inviting your thoughts too. Some counsellors might encourage you to view things from a different perspective using different techniques. I often share some counselling theory to help a client make sense of what's going on. The goal is to understand yourself better, so you can have more control over any choices or changes you may want to make.

Some clients worry that they're ‘too emotional’ during sessions and apologise for showing this part of themselves. Sharing emotional burdens is exactly what counsellors expect - here you're accepted, however you turn up.

The Tools: techniques and strategies

Depending on your needs, your counsellor may introduce specific techniques or strategies to raise awareness and help you cope with challenges.

We might map how your nervous system changes - looking at how fight/flight or shut down feels for you and how to bring a feeling of safety into your life.

Or we might draw something, use a sandtray or do a word exercise to get to a deeper understanding of what's going on.

When suitable, we might talk about a mindful practice or a coping strategy to support you. Personalised strategies could include building a bespoke trauma kit if you're struggling with physical responses to past trauma. These tools act as mental health hacks that you can put into practice outside of our sessions.

The Wrap-Up: reflect and plan

As your session ends, your counsellor will guide you in reflecting on what you've talked about. They may summarise key points or ask how you feel about the session. Together, you may plan next steps, whether that means something to contemplate, a technique to practice, or scheduling your next appointment.

Final Thoughts: leaving feeling lighter

After your session, you may experience a mixture of emotions: relief, hope, sadness, or even fatigue. This is entirely normal. Counselling can be emotionally intense, but it is also incredibly rewarding. Over time, sessions will leave you feeling a bit lighter and more empowered.

Some clients often wonder whether their counsellor will be okay after hearing their stories. Part of our training involves developing the skills to manage this, so rest assured this is part of our job.

A little note on consistency

Keep in mind that progress in counselling often requires time. It’s like going to the gym: you won’t see immediate results after one session, but with commitment, positive changes will emerge.

The number of sessions you may need will depend on your support requirements, and this is a topic you and your counsellor will discuss.

Conclusion: your time, your space

A counselling session is a safe, supportive environment where you can explore your thoughts and feelings without judgment. It’s a collaborative journey between you and your counsellor, designed to help you navigate life’s hurdles and emotional health.

If you think counselling might be a good fit for you, let’s have a chat. We can start with a 20-minute conversation to see if it feels right for what you need, just a chance to explore if it’s the right approach for you. I work out of counselling spaces in Newton Abbot or online. Contact me on suzehowellcounselling@gmail.com or on 07467 734077