So, you’re thinking about starting counselling but have no idea what to expect. This is totally understandable! It can be an experience unlike many people have had before and the unknown can be a bit daunting. Let’s take a stroll through what a typical counselling session is like…
First Things First: The Setup
When you arrive for your session, you'll likely be greeted directly by your counsellor. Counselling spaces are usually designed to be cozy and welcoming. Think comfy chairs, soft lighting, maybe even a few plants or books. If you're online, you'll get the link in advance and enter the virtual space when it's time. The goal is to make you feel relaxed and at ease. This is not a medical appointment!
The Beginning: Breaking the Ice
Your counsellor might start with some friendly small talk to help you settle in. They might ask you if the room is set up ok for you – if the light is too bright, or you’d rather sit on the floor than a chair, that’s absolutely fine. If you're session is online, there'll be that usual tech talk - making sure you know how the software works and what'll happen if you lose connection or there's someone at the door. It’s about making you feel comfortable and ready to start.
Setting the Stage: Confidentiality and Goals
During the first session, your counsellor will take a few minutes to go over what counselling is and what to expect - most counsellors will refer to this as 'contracting'. They’ll explain confidentiality (read this blog post if you want to find out more) and discuss any goals you might have in mind for the therapy. Some people are just ready to talk rather than setting a specific goal, and if this is you, that’s fine too. Often as we talk, what we want out of therapy emerges. You'll probably also be invited to ask any questions you might have about what'll happen.
Diving In: The Conversation
Now comes the main event - the conversation. Your counsellor might start with an open-ended question like, “What brings you here today?” or “How have you been feeling lately?” There’s no right or wrong way to answer. Just share what’s on your mind. The beauty of counselling is that it’s your space to talk about whatever you need to. Whether it’s dealing with crippling anxiety, or figuring out a work dilemma, it’s all valid.
The Flow: Back and Forth
Counselling is a two-way street. While you share your thoughts and feelings, your counsellor will listen actively, ask questions, and provide insights. Counsellors will be using their training to spot patterns in what you're saying and to shine a light on something - a behaviour or a past experience - that's tripping you up.
Some counsellors, like me, might guide you to see things from a different perspective. It’s all about understanding yourself better, so you can reassess your choices and make changes. Some clients can worry that they're ‘too emotional’ during a session and apologise for daring to show this part of themselves. Be reassured – sharing the emotional load is exactly what counsellors expect and we’re trained to work with emotional distress. This is the space to bring it.
The Tools: Techniques and Strategies
Depending on your needs, your counsellor might introduce specific techniques or strategies to help raise your awareness and cope with your challenges. In my approach, I often talk about counselling theory that might help a client to make sense of a situation. And, when appropriate, I might also bring in mindfulness exercises or cognitive-behavioural techniques as coping mechanisms or ways to take action. Other strategies can be more personal, for example, if you're struggling with physical response to past trauma, we may look to build your own bespoke trauma kit that you can access to calm your nervous system when needed. These tools are like mental health hacks that you can use outside of sessions.
The Wrap-Up: Reflect and Plan
As your session winds down, your counsellor will help you reflect on what you’ve talked about. They might summarise key points or ask how you’re feeling about the session. Together, you’ll also plan for the next steps - whether that’s something to think about, a technique to try, or scheduling your next appointment.
Final Thoughts: Leaving with a Lighter Heart
You might leave your session feeling a mix of emotions - relief, hopeful, sad, maybe even tired. It’s completely normal: counselling can be emotionally intense, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. Over time, you’ll likely find that each session leaves you feeling a bit lighter and more empowered. Some clients worry about whether the counsellor will be ok after hearing about their story – part of our training is to learn the skills of being able to hold this stuff, so rest assured that this is part of our job.
A Little Note on Consistency
Remember, progress in counselling often takes time. It’s like going to the gym for your mind - you won’t see muscles after one workout, but with consistent effort, you’ll start noticing positive changes. How many sessions you need will depend on what you need support with, but it’s absolutely something you and your counsellor will talk about.
Conclusion: Your Journey, Your Space
A counselling session is a safe, supportive space where you can explore your thoughts and feelings without judgment. It’s a collaborative journey between you and your counsellor, designed to help you navigate life’s challenges and emotional health. So, take a deep breath, step into that space, and start your journey toward better mental health.
If you think counselling might be a good fit for you, let’s have a chat. We can start with a 20-minute conversation to see if it feels right for what you need - just a chance to see if it’s the right approach for you.
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