So Many to Choose From! How to Find the Right Counsellor for You

Deciding to see a counsellor can be a big step and finding the right one may feel daunting. With so many options, different therapy styles, and numerous professional titles, it’s easy to get stuck. Ultimately, the most important thing is to find someone you feel comfortable talking to. So here's some thoughts on how to start finding the right counsellor for you.

What do I want from therapy?

Before diving into your search, take a moment to think about what’s bringing you to counselling. Some common reasons people seek counselling include:

• Anxiety or stress

• Relationship issues

• Life transitions - think having a baby, getting divorced, changing jobs, retirement

• Grief and loss

• Negative thoughts about self

• Anger

• Obsessive Compulsive thoughts (OCD)
  

It might just be a feeling that you can't cope or something that keeps playing over in your mind. Just having a rough idea of what’s going on can help you find a counsellor who can help you with what you're facing.

What type of therapist do I need?

Not all mental health professionals provide the same services. Here’s a quick breakdown:

• Counsellors: they focus on emotional support and life challenges.

• Psychotherapists: they delve deeper into psychological issues and patterns. There can be a lot of crossover between this and counselling.

• Clinical Psychologists: they assess and treat mental health disorders.

• Psychiatrists: they are medical doctors who can prescribe medication.

  
  

If you’re looking for someone to talk to about emotions, life challenges, and ways to move forward, a counsellor and/or a psychotherapist is likely what you need.

How do I know if a therapist is professionally trained?

In the UK, counselling isn’t legally regulated. However, most qualified counsellors will have undergone training certified by a professional body and then go on to be registered with a membership body as a sign of ethical practice.

Professional bodies to look out for include the NCPS (National Counselling & Psychotherapy Society) - who I am registered with - and the BACP (British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy). Being a member of a professional body means a counsellor is committed to ethical standards and meets training requirements. Essentially, you are in good hands if a counsellor is well-trained and is committed to their continual learning and development.

What type of therapy approach is a ‘good’ one?

Counsellors use various theories and approaches to counselling, and there are many to choose from! Here are just a few common approaches:

• Person-Centred Counselling: here, you'll be supported to feel comfortable to talk about whatever you need to, without feeling judged. It really is about feeling truly listened to and feeling like you can talk about anything. Most therapists will be 'person-centred' alongside other techniques.

  
  

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): this tends to be what's offered on the NHS (the National Health Service in the UK). This approach focuses on challenging your thought patterns. It's great for some people, others find they don't get along with it.

  
  

• Gestalt Counselling: here you'll look at what's happening for you in the present moment to bring more awareness to what's happening. You might take part in experiments to further build awareness. Sometimes this might feel strange at first, but it often gives you a different way of looking at something.

  
  

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): here you'll work on accepting what's happening to you in any given moment and accepting the emotions you're feeling to help you feel more in control and able to build the life you desire. There are som great tools in ACT that can support you with day to day emotions.

  
  

• Polyvagel Therapy: here, you'll bring in more awareness to your nervous system and how emotions show up as sensations in the body and how you can bring more leadership to how your body is reacting to situations. This gives you an awareness of what's happening when you feel different emotions and sensations.

  
  

• Integrative Counselling: here your counsellor will bring in different theories and approaches to whatever best suits what's going on for you. I am a trained integrative counsellor and it means I can mix in all the above approaches to best serve what you need.

  
  

Each approach has its strengths. I find that integrative counselling means I can reach for the right approach or technique to help a client with what they're facing. I sometimes bring in mindfulness or existential thinking too, if it's relevant. I have a sandtray too (more on this in another post) which helps to move deeper into the root of an issue that might not be in your awareness or might be beyond 'words'. Researching some of these theories may help you decide which might resonate with you.

How will I know if a counsellor is right for me?

The connection you have with your counsellor is one of the most important reasons to how effective therapy will be. Ask yourself:

• Do I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts and feelings?

• Does the therapist listen without judgment?

• Am I able to express my concerns openly?

  
  

Many counsellors offer a short introductory chat. This is your chance to see if they feel like a good fit. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s perfectly okay to try someone else. Therapists are used to this, so don’t worry about any awkwardness! I offer a free 20 minute chat to start with for all new clients.

The practicalities

A few practical but essential things to check include:

• Location: is the therapist’s space convenient for you?

• Availability: do their hours align with your schedule?

• Fees: are their rates within your budget?

• Accessibility: if you've any accessibility needs, can they be supported?

• Flexibility: if you need to change days and times, can they do this?

How to know if it’s the right counsellor for me?

Therapy is a process: it can take a few sessions to feel comfortable and ready to share your inner world.

If you’re unsure about something or feel judged in any way, tell your counsellor as this might actually help for you to get what you need. Feedback can be an important part of the therapeutic process.

And, if you really don't feel that the counsellor is right for you, that's ok. There might be someone else out there who is a better fit for you.

Finally, trust your instincts

Focus on what you need, find someone qualified who feels like a good fit, and trust your instincts. Therapy can be life-changing, and the right counsellor will make all the difference.

If you’re considering counselling and aren’t sure where to start, I offer a free 20-minute chat, no pressure, just a chance to see if it feels like the right fit. I work in person from Newton Abbot as well as online.

You can contact me at suzehowellcounselling@gmail.com or on 07467 734077 to set up a time that works for you.