How do I choose a counsellor?
- howelly
- Jul 16
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 17
Deciding to see a counsellor can be a big step and finding the right one can feel a bit daunting. There are so many options, different therapy styles, and loads of professional titles - it’s easy to get stuck overthinking it and scrolling through websites. At the end of the day, the most important thing is finding someone you feel comfortable talking to. Here's a simple guide to figure out what’s right for you.
Q. What do I want from therapy?
Before diving into searches, take a moment to think about what’s bringing you to counselling. Some common reasons people seek therapy include:
Anxiety or depression
Relationship struggles
Stress and burnout (work, parenting, caring responsibilities)
Grief and loss
Trauma (past or recent)
Confidence and self-esteem
Feeling stuck but not sure why
You don’t need to have a perfect answer or a goal you’re trying to achieve - just a rough idea of what’s going on can help you find a counsellor who specialises in that area.
Q. What type of therapist do I need?
Not all mental health professionals do the same thing. Here’s a quick breakdown:
Counsellors & Psychotherapists – Both offer talking therapy, but psychotherapy often goes deeper into exploring past experiences and patterns. In practice, the terms are often used interchangeably, so it’s more about the individual therapist and their experience and how you feel you relate to them than the title.
Psychologists – Focus more on diagnosing and treating mental health conditions, often using structured therapy models.
Psychiatrists – Medical doctors who can prescribe medication for mental health issues.
If you’re looking for someone to talk to about emotions, life challenges, and ways to move forward, a counsellor or psychotherapist is likely what you need.
Q. How do I know if a therapist is professionally trained?
Believe it or not, in the UK, counselling isn’t legally regulated, but most qualified counsellors will have had training endored by professional body and are now registered with them. Professional bodies to look out for are the NCPS (National Counselling & Psychotherapy Society), which is the body I’m registered with, and the BACP (British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy). Signing up to a professional body means a counsellor is working to set ethical standards and is required to meet training standards.
Q. What type of therapy approach is a ‘good’ one?
Counsellors use different approaches to therapy, and there are a lot of them! Knowing the basics can help you get a sense of what might feel right for you. Here are just a few:
Person-Centred Therapy – Focuses on you as the expert in your own life. The therapist offers space to talk without providing direction in the sessions. Most therapists use a person-centred approach in their work with clients because we know it’s so important for clients to feel heard, not feel judged and feel like the therapist is being real with them.
Gestalt Therapy – More experiential, often exploring emotions in the present moment and how they show up in your body.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – Helps change unhelpful thought patterns and behaviours.
Psychodynamic Therapy – Looks at how past experiences shape your current feelings and behaviours.
Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) – Focuses on accepting difficult emotions rather than fighting them, while also committing to actions that align with your values. I personally really like how this therapy can bring some real practical strategies to dealing with emotional distress.
Mindfulness-Based Therapy – Uses mindfulness techniques to manage stress, anxiety, and emotional regulation. It’s not just about meditation, but how clients can get ‘out of their own heads’ and respond to what’s happening right now.
Integrative Therapy – A mix of different approaches, tailored to what works best for you. This is what I’m trained in and I think it’s an excellent option because it allows the counsellor to adapt their approach to fit what the client needs.
Q. How will I know if a therapist is right for me?
The connection you have with your counsellor is one of the most important factors in how helpful therapy will be. Ask yourself:
Do I feel comfortable talking to them?
Do they listen properly and seem to understand me?
Do I feel supported, or do I feel judged?
Many counsellors offer a short introductory chat - this is your chance to see if they feel like a good fit. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s absolutely okay to try someone else, therapists are used to it, so don’t worry about awkwardness!
Q. What else do I need to think about?
A few boring but important things to check:
Location & Accessibility – Are they close by? Do they offer online sessions?
Cost – While therapy isn’t free, it’s important to see it as an investment in your well-being, rather than just another expense. Just like you would invest in your physical health or education, investing in your mental health can support you in living a more balanced, fulfilling life. Therapy can help you navigate challenges, reduce stress, and improve your overall quality of life. And, often it’s just for a short time with long lasting results.
Availability – Does their schedule work with yours? Some therapists have long waitlists, so check if they have space for new clients. Also, are you ready to commit to a series of weeks to do the therapy?
Q. How do I know if it’s the right therapist for me?
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